The Reason for Me
by Riiko Shea
Summary: When questions about his reason for living are coming up unanswered, Sasuke has a late-night talk with Kakashi-sensei. The answer, of course, lies in a certain blonde dobe. N/S light slash


**A/N: **Hello Naruto fandom! This is my first time writing something for this particular manga, and my first time writing slash in general, so please go easy on me. ^_^ Also, if this idea has been used before, I apologize- I promise I didn't know.

I basically listened to the song "The Reason" by Hoobastank (which I don't own) on a constant loop while I wrote this. It's a great song and it, along with this oneshot, have hopefully helped me get out of a huge period of writer's block (which is why this story is probably awful haha).

Anywho, onward!

**Disclaimer: **Don't own.

**The Reason for Me**

Sasuke stared down at the gathering from the balcony of his lover's apartment. He had been invited, but he could not bring himself to go down among the cheerful, slightly intoxicated partygoers – people who had once been his comrades, friends, even.

That time was over. There was only one person down there who even liked him. His bright blonde hair was easily spotted, even from Sasuke's high vantage point, and he watched as Naruto wove through the gathering, laughing and talking loudly with anyone whom he encountered.

Sasuke was unable to watch anymore and turned away, moving back into the dark apartment. He had come back nearly three months ago, and had just been reinstated by Tsunade and the other village leaders as a chuunin. He knew that the only reason they weren't restarting him as a genin was because they were afraid to have him go up against the younger genin in the exams.

He didn't blame them.

He heard Naruto's laugh, which was loud up here and must have been deafening in the street down below. Sasuke wished he had the courage to go down there and join the festivities, but he didn't. Not yet.

How could he hope to have his old teammates accept him when he didn't even accept himself?

Sasuke rolled his eyes. These were the kind of thoughts that showed him that he had been spending too much time with Naruto, when these "Who am I? What is my goal? What is _my_ ninja way?" questions began invading his mind.

But as Kakashi had said quietly when he found Sasuke on his roof a few nights ago, unable to stay snuggled up with his stupid, trusting dobe, Sasuke had been an avenger. His reason for living was to destroy his brother, something he did and then regretted after finding out the true story.

))((

"Then you set out to avenge again- you just switched your hatred from Itachi to Konoha."

"I _know_ that," Sasuke snarled. Kakashi's eye remained impassive as Sasuke hissed, "I also know that after I faced Naruto and helped him destroy Madara and those vile, corrupt village elders who destroyed my brother's life and tried to destroy the village, too… I fled because I couldn't live with what I had done to Itachi, now that I had no distractions."

Kakashi's mask twitched in a smile. "Good, good. You've reached chuunin level. Now to reach jounin level – what are you trying to live with now, months after your self-imposed exile?"

Silence. Sasuke stared up at the stars, trying to keep his tears firmly inside of his eyes. They weren't listening. He heard Kakashi sigh, and then felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. Sasuke closed his eyes.

"How does he do it?" Sasuke whispered. Kakashi knew who he was talking about without even asking.

"Naruto is a very forgiving individual. He wants to help everyone, no matter if they are friend, or enemy. You know that."

Sasuke sniffled, embarrassed but unable to help it. "I know, I know, but… after everything I did, he still wants to train with me and eat with me and… and…" He flushed, and Kakashi smirked. Sasuke turned and glared at the upturned eye and snapped, "What I'm _trying_ to say is that I can't even live with myself for hurting him, for hurting everyone… how does _he_ do it?"

Kakashi's hand squeezed Sasuke's shoulder. "To be blunt with you, Sasuke, Naruto loves you. He always has, since you acknowledged him for the first time when you were both just little kids, when Naruto was feared and hated for reasons he didn't understand." He smirked again.

"Granted, that love has changed." Sasuke glared again, and Kakashi smirked. "But essentially, Naruto's reason for living, aside to become Hokage to protect everyone, was you. Making you notice him and recognize him as an equal, making you come back to the village where you belonged. Making you realize that you are just as worthy of love as anyone else, even the little boy who had a demon fox imprisoned inside him before he could talk."

They sat in silence, and then Sasuke sighed, rubbing his eyes. "I hurt him."

"You did."

"I keep hurting him."

"Mhm."

"… you think Naruto's my reason for living, huh?"

"Better than revenge, I'd say."

Sasuke frowned. Kakashi watched him for a moment, then stood, holding out a hand to his former student. "Listen, you're learning. Naruto knows that. He knows you're not perfect, but he loves you anyways. As long as you keep trying, that love isn't going anywhere." He paused. "But I think he's going to be pretty upset when he wakes up and you're not in bed anymore."

Sasuke sighed. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right. For once." He took the proffered hand and Kakashi pulled him to his feet.

"Are you all right now, Sasuke?"

Sasuke scowled at the ground. "No. But I'm getting better."

"Good." Kakashi smiled. "Good-night, Sasu-chan."

Suddenly, Sasuke was at Kakashi's back, kunai in hand. "Not a _word _of this to Naruto, or anyone, right, sensei?"

Kakashi laughed. "Of course not, Sasuke."

Sasuke sagged in relief, and Kakashi was gone, leaving Sasuke alone on the roof.

After a moment, the roof was empty.

))((

"Mmm… huh?" Sasuke blinked the sleep from his eyes, staring up at Naruto.

"Hey, teme, you fell asleep on the couch," Naruto grinned. Sasuke frowned.

"I was trying to stay up to wait for _you,_ dobe." His threatening attitude was somewhat ruined by his huge yawn. "What time is it?"

"Nearly one in the morning… sorry," Naruto looked contrite. "I didn't mean to stay out so long."

Sasuke sighed, but held out a hand to be pulled up. "It's fine. Dobe," he added.

Naruto smiled that stupid, huge grin, the one that made Sasuke feel like he'd just slipped into a hot bath. "Come to bed?"

"Fine." Sasuke allowed himself to be dragged into the bedroom. "Hey, Naruto?"

Naruto turned, his grin gone at the use of his name. "Yeah?"

"Sorry."

Naruto's face cleared, and Sasuke wanted to kiss his dobe for knowing exactly what he meant without making him say it. "'s okay, Sasuke. It's always been okay." He gave Sasuke a little smile, and Sasuke sighed, pulling Naruto into a hug.

"You really are an idiot, aren't you?"

"Yep," Naruto said into his neck. "But you love me."

"Do not."

Naruto laughed and Sasuke pushed him onto the bed where Naruto curled up, waiting for Sasuke to join him.

And as Naruto's breathing began to even out and Sasuke's eyes began to flutter closed, he thought that maybe having Naruto as his reason for living might not be such a bad thing after all.

**A/N: **Thanks for reading, I apologize for any mistakes.

Please review!

))Riiko Shea((


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